i am in love....

just a few days with our beautiful daughter and i am in love.

Even though it has only been a few years since i have had an infant in my arms i forget...

i forget how soft they are.
i forget how fun it is to cuddle.
i forget their little squeaks and stretches.
i forgot their funny newborn facial expressions.
i forgot how fragile they are.

The miracle of this little life, our little Perpetua, leaves all of us, even the big brothers, in awe.

The Birth Story:
When your hormones are swaying and you are stressing about labor, about birth, about her health, you need someone around you reminding you of truth - that none of it is in your hands anyway and that God has it all under control... to put your trust in Him.

On Saturday morning Jonathan looked at me and assured me that though he didn't know that everything was going to turn out perfect, he did know that God was with us and that He had everything under His control.

With that assurance we talked to our Doc and went in.

i do it natural... i don't really have any major reason why... my mom did it that way and i always assumed that i would be birthing babies in some rice field in Asia or something so i better not get use to doing it the other way. Though i do have a high tolerance for pain, i know that Christ would never give me anything i couldn't handle through Him. i know it is the way with the least risks too but the former reasons probably motivate me just as much. So doing it natural you know you are going to have pain just how much and how long is the question that you don't know until that amazing feeling when the baby comes out.

My coach, is my hubby - Jonathan, and he is amazing. He looks forward to our time in the hospital now leaning on each other... just me and him. He is my Hero.


I was 4cm dilated when they broke my water... then we walked... for probably about 3 hours or something (i try to stay away from all of the clocks)...the walking started some random contractions. My Doc checked me again and i was 6cm dilated... booo... not what i wanted to hear... it meant, of course, hours more of labor... though when we came in i thought it could take around 24 hours i really deep down.. wanted it to only be one or two hours like all of those happy labor stories i hear about.

So from after she checked me things got intense.....Jonathan was by my side.. reading scripture... moving my verse cards so i could read them during intense contractions.... coaching me where to stand...then i flet the urge to push.. with the boys when i felt that i had to push they told me to just breath through them because i wasn't even close to a 10 yet.... so i tried to breath through it...Jonathan said he was going to tell the nurse anyway just in case..... i had to go to the bathroom so i was heading that way the nurse said it was fine .....until i said i think i feel the head...... and then seeing the head too the nurse jumped into action trying to get me on the bed... she called the Doc over the emergency intercoms and said to us "well it looks like I am delivering your baby". Within seconds the doc was there to say push again and then little Perpetua was out. :)

A healthy baby girl... they checked her vitals and i held her... for a good hour.... just held her as she nursed... so sweet....so tiny.

7lbs 11oz, 21 inches long born at 4:20 on Saturday, February, 4th 2012

she is fixing her hair for the pic  : )

What a miracle.