34 years old.... yes... i know that is old to some of you ....to others maybe not so much...
i was 11 years old when i heard a man stand up and talk about a hole in the heart that each of us had...every human that ever existed has.... we each try to fill it with something -- other people, boy/girl, things, money, sports, drugs, drinking, work, good deeds, whatever......but eventually we realize that what we are trying to fill it with won't work. Those things/people leave us empty and the hole is still there. Only the creator of our hearts knows what will fill it because He is the one who created us with that hole. Only He can fill that hole. Only a love relationship with our Maker. We were designed to need HIM.
i knew exactly what hole that speaker was talking about... i knew the emptiness he spoke of even at 11 years old.
That is when i realized that HE was what i needed... HIM and only HIM. That was the moment i surrendered and HE filled my hole. I didn't understand fully what it took.... what God did through Jesus ... to make a way for me to have this love relationship with HIM.
i knew grace and forgiveness was extended and only by His grace and forgiveness, Jesus, could i enter into a love relationship with my Maker. And so i fell at the front of that big room that night... i cried... i surrendered and more importantly HE picked me up and made me new... like a new person. i knew i was different... i felt close to God.... even giddy... thinking about what He did for me....about His love. i remember skipping through that campground the next day.....feeling as though i could fly in a way... as though all of my burdens were lifted.
i remember being so giddy... i wanted everyone everywhere to to know Him. i remember at 12 years old reading through biographies of people whose whole lives were dedicated to showing and sharing God's love to people (in Acteens- a club a the church we were going to). i knew that is what He wanted me to do to go live where ever God leads and show and share Him.
i remember telling everyone about Him about His love... i remember preaching on the school bus when i was in Junior High and have discussions about creation vs. evolution in high school with neighborhood kids. i remember the floods of bible studies i went to and how each feed me so much.... i needed it more than food. i remember going downtown, the mall, house to house, on trips, everywhere telling people about Him.
i remember the first person i prayed with that realized her need for Jesus, a child in W.V.
i remember heading to Texas and falling even more madly in love with my Creator. I remember leading people to Him in Venezuela, Downtown Dallas, Acquire the Fire Conventions, Ghana, China, and Peru. I remember sweet hours with Him in the fields in Texas.
i remember when God brought Jonathan into my life...out of the clear blue.... not expecting. i thought i was going be single sharing His love somewhere in the world. Almost 10 years of marriage... i watch as God has refined and is refining my selfish heart through marriage. We have lead people to Him in Jordan, India, Guatemala, Haiti, Slovakia, Kenya, and other places. I remember the faces of the people when they finally realize there need for Him and what He did to show them His love... their tears.
i look at my children and i know God has put me in their lives to show and share with them what they were created to do. Their purpose in life. i get giddy when i tell them about HIM.... who He is, His love, His holiness.
i know nothing matters but us knowing our Maker and making Him known to the world.
Without Him there is no purpose to life. He is the giver of life. He knows why you are here and for what reason He made you.
To unbeiliving America i ask you to look at the facts... as well as ask Him to show Himself to you.
i get soooo fustrated because i don't look like Jesus: i am full of the sin that so easily entangles.... i want to bust free...but i am trapped....selfish, easily distracted, prideful, looking at His hand rather than Him, like a child i act....
i am frustrated because i know i often i point people away from Jesus than to Him...i sooo want to be those people that spew Jesus.... that cry when they hear His name....that give everything and hold nothing back....that see people through His eyes of compassion...that speak with supernatural wisdom ... that boldly shout.... and softly comfort.
People who call yourself Christians.... we only have one life to live..... let's point to HIM with every breath that we have left. Help me Christians... i am weak... i am distracted....i need your help to point Him!!!!!!
Every time we go anywhere now, Eljiah will ask me if the people around us know Jesus.... i sadly tell him that many probably don't..... why don't i think that way? why don't i look at the multitudes with compassion and forget the grocery list. What would happen if i did.... my child would know He is worthy and every one needs Him.....i wouldn't have to tell Him that.... He would see it.
God help me walk your path.
i was 11 years old when i heard a man stand up and talk about a hole in the heart that each of us had...every human that ever existed has.... we each try to fill it with something -- other people, boy/girl, things, money, sports, drugs, drinking, work, good deeds, whatever......but eventually we realize that what we are trying to fill it with won't work. Those things/people leave us empty and the hole is still there. Only the creator of our hearts knows what will fill it because He is the one who created us with that hole. Only He can fill that hole. Only a love relationship with our Maker. We were designed to need HIM.
i knew exactly what hole that speaker was talking about... i knew the emptiness he spoke of even at 11 years old.
That is when i realized that HE was what i needed... HIM and only HIM. That was the moment i surrendered and HE filled my hole. I didn't understand fully what it took.... what God did through Jesus ... to make a way for me to have this love relationship with HIM.
i knew grace and forgiveness was extended and only by His grace and forgiveness, Jesus, could i enter into a love relationship with my Maker. And so i fell at the front of that big room that night... i cried... i surrendered and more importantly HE picked me up and made me new... like a new person. i knew i was different... i felt close to God.... even giddy... thinking about what He did for me....about His love. i remember skipping through that campground the next day.....feeling as though i could fly in a way... as though all of my burdens were lifted.
i remember being so giddy... i wanted everyone everywhere to to know Him. i remember at 12 years old reading through biographies of people whose whole lives were dedicated to showing and sharing God's love to people (in Acteens- a club a the church we were going to). i knew that is what He wanted me to do to go live where ever God leads and show and share Him.
i remember telling everyone about Him about His love... i remember preaching on the school bus when i was in Junior High and have discussions about creation vs. evolution in high school with neighborhood kids. i remember the floods of bible studies i went to and how each feed me so much.... i needed it more than food. i remember going downtown, the mall, house to house, on trips, everywhere telling people about Him.
i remember the first person i prayed with that realized her need for Jesus, a child in W.V.
i remember heading to Texas and falling even more madly in love with my Creator. I remember leading people to Him in Venezuela, Downtown Dallas, Acquire the Fire Conventions, Ghana, China, and Peru. I remember sweet hours with Him in the fields in Texas.
i remember when God brought Jonathan into my life...out of the clear blue.... not expecting. i thought i was going be single sharing His love somewhere in the world. Almost 10 years of marriage... i watch as God has refined and is refining my selfish heart through marriage. We have lead people to Him in Jordan, India, Guatemala, Haiti, Slovakia, Kenya, and other places. I remember the faces of the people when they finally realize there need for Him and what He did to show them His love... their tears.
i look at my children and i know God has put me in their lives to show and share with them what they were created to do. Their purpose in life. i get giddy when i tell them about HIM.... who He is, His love, His holiness.
i know nothing matters but us knowing our Maker and making Him known to the world.
Without Him there is no purpose to life. He is the giver of life. He knows why you are here and for what reason He made you.
To unbeiliving America i ask you to look at the facts... as well as ask Him to show Himself to you.
i get soooo fustrated because i don't look like Jesus: i am full of the sin that so easily entangles.... i want to bust free...but i am trapped....selfish, easily distracted, prideful, looking at His hand rather than Him, like a child i act....
i am frustrated because i know i often i point people away from Jesus than to Him...i sooo want to be those people that spew Jesus.... that cry when they hear His name....that give everything and hold nothing back....that see people through His eyes of compassion...that speak with supernatural wisdom ... that boldly shout.... and softly comfort.
People who call yourself Christians.... we only have one life to live..... let's point to HIM with every breath that we have left. Help me Christians... i am weak... i am distracted....i need your help to point Him!!!!!!
Every time we go anywhere now, Eljiah will ask me if the people around us know Jesus.... i sadly tell him that many probably don't..... why don't i think that way? why don't i look at the multitudes with compassion and forget the grocery list. What would happen if i did.... my child would know He is worthy and every one needs Him.....i wouldn't have to tell Him that.... He would see it.
God help me walk your path.
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