tomorrow we get into a big van and head up to Newark, NJ to board a plane for India ....our whole little family... at least that is the plan... and though i am almost packed, and mostly prepared to teach these 20 impoverished woman and show love to the people of India, am not ready to leave... my heart that is.
My sister, 34 years old and mother of 4, is setting in a hospital room again tonight for the 6th night... they think it is Hodgkins Lymphoma or if not that then a list of other sad possibilities, the biopsy has been done we are just waiting the results. Such a surprise.
My sister is strong, healthy, she takes care of her home, her husband, her 4 children. She always does whatever it take to take care of others, always gives, always loves even if it hurts, even if she is tired. She is one of those women that is far above rubies (Proverbs 31).
I know that God set this trip up, that He put it all together. I know i need to trust HIM with Holly and with India as well.... but tonight my heart is heavy.
I know He will turn all of this around for good... for that is His nature. I know He could heal my sister instantly if He so chooses. I know truth. I know that we need not fear tomorrow though we know not what it holds....though i know it in my head .......tonight my heart still aches. The unknown possibilities still rush through my mind.
I hugged my dear sister tonight not knowing what tomorrow will bring, what the doctors will say. She smiles with confidence and a rare joy that i don't think i have ever tasted and says "go on your trip, Heidi".
And though all i want to do is be with her and there for her, i know i need to obey and go forward in the dark where i cannot see and trust HIM.
So hear i go LORD, stepping forward..obeying... trusting you without knowing what tomorrow brings.
My sister, 34 years old and mother of 4, is setting in a hospital room again tonight for the 6th night... they think it is Hodgkins Lymphoma or if not that then a list of other sad possibilities, the biopsy has been done we are just waiting the results. Such a surprise.
My sister is strong, healthy, she takes care of her home, her husband, her 4 children. She always does whatever it take to take care of others, always gives, always loves even if it hurts, even if she is tired. She is one of those women that is far above rubies (Proverbs 31).
I know that God set this trip up, that He put it all together. I know i need to trust HIM with Holly and with India as well.... but tonight my heart is heavy.
I know He will turn all of this around for good... for that is His nature. I know He could heal my sister instantly if He so chooses. I know truth. I know that we need not fear tomorrow though we know not what it holds....though i know it in my head .......tonight my heart still aches. The unknown possibilities still rush through my mind.
I hugged my dear sister tonight not knowing what tomorrow will bring, what the doctors will say. She smiles with confidence and a rare joy that i don't think i have ever tasted and says "go on your trip, Heidi".
And though all i want to do is be with her and there for her, i know i need to obey and go forward in the dark where i cannot see and trust HIM.
So hear i go LORD, stepping forward..obeying... trusting you without knowing what tomorrow brings.
Oh Heidi.. I will be praying that the Lord holds tight to YOU as you leave tomorrow.. and tight to your sister as she awaits answers.
ReplyDeleteLove you sweet lady. Your grace & courage.. your "realness" are beautiful and honoring to God
Will pray for you and for your sister tonight. God be with you. Grace & Peace.
ReplyDeleteHeidi. I am praying for peace that passes understanding for you during this unknown time. Lord be with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteHeidi...Thank you for sharing. We will be praying for your sister and her family. We will also be praying for you on this trip to India...The Lord knows, that is for certain...(Psalm 62:1-2,8) " My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken. Trust Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."
ReplyDeleteMuch love and prayers are with you and your family Heidi. <3