Trust takes time. I love her fully....it has come so easily for me... This love for her has come way before she was even born. But there is a difference....I can since it in her. It is like she doesn't quite trust me yet. She has had a lifetime of helplessness and trusting in people who have constantly failed her. It is like she is holding back. Waiting for me to leave her somewhere or fail her in someway. But each day I since her trusting me a little more. Letting me see a little more of that free joy...like my birth children have...that full trust.
Eventually I will fail her in someway..... I am human. But all of this reminds me of us and God. He took us in as fully His ........all of our lives we have trusted in people and things that have ultimately failed us. It is hard to imagine that He would really see us as His children....full rights, full inheritance, full love as He loves Jesus. It is hard to completely trust that He knows best. That He gives us the best. Especially when our idea of best is not His. He is our father....He is looking out for us and we are helpless so we yield....little by little as time passes more and more we yield and trust....hopefully fully one day without reservation without hesitation.
As I long for her to have that freedom and joy my other children have....I see the father looking at me also longing for me to have that full trust and freedom and joy.... thats why He died and conquered death so that we can fully be His children.
Not just trust when things are going the way we want them to but when things aren't quite going the way I would want them to....through the suffering, through the trails of life....to fully trust Him.
This year I am looking at Easter a fresh way.