joy in today

In a matter of days i will see these beautiful eyes and be face to face with my daughter. i feel overwhelmed! Adoption has been on our hearts since we were children and we have been in the process of adoption for over 4 years. We have been praying for her since before she was born. Still i don't think i will believe any of this is real until after the court date or maybe even till we bring her home. i feel so undeservedly blessed by my God.

This time we will get to see her and have a court date but sadly .. and it is going to be sooooo hard... we will have to leave her there and wait another 4 to 6 weeks before we get go and pick her up and bring her home.

i am feeling everything this week... openly.... i had been in quite a sad pit or temper tantrum with my Father (the Almighty God) when i got the call that we were traveling. This news did perk me up tremendously. :)

But still there is a part of that is heavy and aching.... my sister is doing exceptionally well considering. Her mind is very clear and she hasn't had any major side effects from the whole brain radiation.  i am thankful for everyday with her and i see him extending her days... which is wonderful and an answer to prayer again!

The hard part is - i step toward the future (with the wonderful new little one in our home soon) and all Holly is allowed today. Part of me feels like it is unfair (i.e. - temper tantrum with God). Holly would have had 10 kids! She should be coming home from the hospital with baby number 5 not 60 tumors in the brain. i keep wanting this to go away... and maybe God will still do that. Who knows... i am asking HIM.

But as day by day goes on... i think i am seeing something.

Slight suffering is something i have kinda signed up for. i will hike the painful mountain, i will do natural childbirth, i will set aside modern conveniences and do it the hard way, even adoption is hard - and their are sufferings to come that our daughter and we will go through.

BUT i know with suffering comes wisdom, growth, and a reality of life  - that is something i want. Every time i hear a persecuted Christian talk or a missionary share -  i see something in them... something i want -it is as if they have died a little more to themselves...and as if Jesus is living more in them. As if they are filled more with HIM. Less of them more of Him.

To live is Christ and to die is gain. Phil. 1:21

i am seeing someone i love dearly die a little more to herself, her dreams of a bigger family, her dreams of seeing her children grow up and marry and seeing their children, even her hair, and her sleep is gone. i have dreamed with her all of my life. And now she doesn't get to anymore, not like we use to anyway.

She is dying to herself more daily but somehow her contentment with today is stronger. Despite her fatigue she is still homeschooling her kids... she is still getting up and doing things... she is still living... and fulling living, and happy and thankful for today. He is giving her Joy during the trial. I see Jesus more in her.

Suffering can be beautiful. Temper tantrums are not so beautiful.

God, help me to be content with your wonderful blessings of today, as Holly is, and joy in YOU through the sufferings and the blessings. 

life, it is but a breath

it has kind of been the most motivating verse for me over the years along with.. "To live is Christ and to die is gain." Phil. 1:21 

The beauty of life, though temporary it is, it doesn't end with your last breath. That is when it all begins - in a more amazing out of this world way than we can ever imagine.

i am in the midst of something unlike anything i have experienced. The most wonderful part of this "valley" is that my family and i are not alone. God has been showing me that HE is "Jehovah Shammah" as generations of His children over thousands of years have been calling Him.... it means "God with us".

i don't pretend to know what God is up to or His masterful plan in every detail of life (Prov. 19:21, Jer. 10:23, Eccl. 6:10, 11:5, 10:14, Prov. 16:33, Prov. 16:1,9, Prov. 29:30) nor do it know that my pleading will change that plan, nor do i know that what i think is good is what He thinks is good. I do know that....

HE is good. (Rom. 8:28, James 1:16-18, Psalms 106:1-2, Psalms 116:5, Psalm 16:2, Psalm 13:6, Psalm 103:13)

and

HIS plan is good. It is forever with Him... life abundantly (John 10:10, Psalm 37:23-24, Phil. 1:6, Rom. 12:2, Psalm 138:8, 2 Thess 1:11, John 17:3, John 3:16, Rom 6:23)

It is hard to write as i am walking through this valley.... i know there is much i am learning, He is steadfastly showing me... and much i may never understand or see until heaven.

Over a week ago, my sister (my only sibling-one year older than me, also a wife and a beloved home school mom of 4 young children) had an MRI on her brain showing 50 to 60 brain tumors. This is what is predicted for this aggressive type of cancer. She was diagnosed with stage 4 Adenocarcinoma lung cancer over a year and a half ago and it is a miracle that she has done so well this long. Everyday is a miracle! Holly is peaceful and taking each day as gift from God. Her faith and love for her children has always been inspiring but even more so now.

i was thinking this past week that... she will not die... yes, one day she will take her last breath on this earth like all of us.... but then after that last breath she will live... and live abundantly... fully... and forever .....as we were all created to... and we both have longed for....with Jehovah Shammah. What will die will be our plan of the day we think it should be.

We haughtily assume that we have life here on this earth forever... like it is due to us or owed us. If we are healthy, good people, and love the Lord... that we live long....we will see our children grow up and we will see their children grow up. But we don't know the number of our days. Only God does. And life is so short.....Oh the hours and hours i have wasted in this short life.

What if i were to live like i didn't have much time?.... what would i do differently? A lot is the answer.... Lord, help me to see life the way You do... to live for eternity.

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;  at best, each of us is but a breath.” Psalm 39:4-5

Please do pray for Holly - that HE would extend the days of her life and keep her mind healthy to the end and help her to seize the moments and continue in that peace that passes all understanding. (Phil. 4:7) Pray also for her husband, her 4 children (3 to 13years old), and my parents and grandma.

Holly and her hubby. 

eyes on Him

Can you be in the midst of what He is doing and still be fighting to keep your eyes on Him?

I feel like i am following Him through a thick rain forest and there are constantly vines and leaves falling in front of my face slowing me down, or things i am tripping over. The key is to stay close to Him but i am constantly losing sight of Him.

i remember once many years ago i was out in a field walking with my God talking to Him and listening and i heard foot steps (i know you may think i am crazy) but they weren't my foot steps and i even stopped and they stopped shortly after. I think it was Jesus just telling me He is with me (or I am with Him). I remember rejoicing and resting in the peace and comfort of His presence.

Recently i have not felt as thought i am walking with Him as i did before. I am missing a key element of the "with Him" and i have felt that way for some time now. I started to notice that much of the time i am missing the JOY which is the fruit of the "with Him". So these last few months i have been fervently searching.....

I am trying to grab a hold of HIS hand so HE can help guide me through this think rainforest of life.

These are the things HE has been showing me:

- I have become a Martha. I use to be a Mary and now i am Martha. "But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Jesus and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.”  But the Lord answered and said to her,“Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luck 10:40-42 

- My eyes are on my to do list and not on HIM. I miss Him... the lover of my soul... oh He has not left but i have gotten distracted by the things tugging at me... i have slowed the pace and vines have fallen in front of me. I have felt overwhelmed by the pressures of wifehood and motherhood.  Felt i am failing at all of it. When anyone speaks of things that are experiencing in HIM ... i am jealous... instead of rejoicing with them... i become envious and more discouraged.

- i am full of ugly pride and discontentedness... or down right unthankfulness comes from me. my day has become about what i think i need to do. what i want to do. my agenda.... i have become discontent with so many things.. ungrateful and therefore unable to SEE the beauty that so vastly surrounds me. my eyes have been on me and not on HIM.

- I have to be holding HIS hand to make the next step... i can't see where i am stepping only he can.... there is too many vines and thick brush in the way....When the quicksand of sin is all around me there is nothing to do but reach out for HIS faithful strong HAND.

- When i hold HIS hand i can take the time to look around at the beautiful jungle that surrounds me... the massive trees, the tiny flowers budding on the vine, the soft moss under my feet, the tickle of dew dropping on my face from leaves of above. The beauty of the jungle - this journey of life. And wonder and thankfulness occur.

- Joy comes from HIM (Is. 58:14, John 15:9-11, Acts 2:28, Rom 14:17 and so many more). JOY has the power to make a flower blossom in the desert.... it is the gift of God and the pursuit of the whole world. It is not based on circumstances or human strength.... it is in HIM we find it and when it pours out of us it looks like singing and music(Psalm 84:2,43:4, 47:1,100:1, 98:4,6,8), giving (1 Chron 29:17, Neh 12:43), shouting (Psalm 65:7-9, Is. 42:11, Ezra 3:11-13), and thanksgiving (Psalm 95:2, 126:2). It is contagious and the whole world joins in (Psalm 67:4, Is. 48:20).

i wish i could write you this great testimony that i have grabbed a hold of HIS hand and am filled to the brim with that JOY only HE gives but this is something i am in the midst of... not something i am on the outside of yet and i just felt the freedom to venerability to just write while i am in the midst. 

a song only they can sing....

camera moments of mommyhood:

At night when i hold each child and sing to them:

"There is nobody else in the whole wide world like you, never has been, and never will be. There is a song that God gave you to sing that NOBODY else can sing. It is a song of worship to the KING. I pray little one that you will sing it all of your life....with all of your might! That all may hear and know that HE is life"

i love the wonder in their eyes.... their hearts know i am speaking truth... i see it in their eyes... i love these treasures God has allowed me to mother and so giddy about the new little one in Ethiopia too!

surreal

...could describe this weekend. I am still overwhelmed with wonder, GOD is so amazing!

This overwhelmed feeling has something to do with this precious hand....

There is a life long lesson that I am always having to relearn and relearn. The dying to self one. It seems like I am always holding on to something.  Sometimes it is a good thing that I am holding on to.... Something that is good in the eyes of God. But the thing is God doesn't want us to hold on to things..... He wants us to hold on to HIM. Let HIM be boss... not like He isn't if we say He is not...cause He is always in control... but there is a trusting HIM... a complete surrender that He requires of us. In that trusting and surrender... we grow closer to HIM...which is HIS purpose for it all.

Confessions of silly, sinful heart:

I use to strategize on ways to reach the world for God to tell everyone about His love (like He needed help from me). I would think up great ideas on what might work. "What if we got everyone to do this and this or that...then everyone in your world would know about YOUR great love." But God begin to show me that he didn't need my help in reach His world. surprise (sarcasm here)  He already had a plan. A PERFECT one. And I could join Him in HIS big and wondrous plan or sit around and think of own lame ideas. I didn't need to get others to do what they were suppose to......that is the Holy Spirit's job not mine. BOY did that bring relief when by His grace I let go of planning and just starting obeying the planner. He is still working on me in this area. But when i surrendered is when He let me be a part of what HE is doing through GPPD. Very cool.

It was that way with my hubby...I thought i could make myself a good match.... He showed me i am not good at it and i needed to trust Him... years pass... I thought for sure I was going to be a single showing God's great love somewhere in the world....then He brought Jonathan.

It was that way with birthing children..... we had 2 miscarriages and I told HIM whether or not He let me birth children He was God and His plan was better... I relinquished my "rights?" to have children. Then he brought Elijah...Jeriah ....and Perpetua. WOW.


NOTICE the theme here: Hold on to something -realize it is dumb to hold on those things (through His patience in showing me - usually by taking that thing completely away) then I let go and surrender that thing (putting it in His court to do whatever He wants to do with it) TRUSTING HIM - MAKING HIM BOSS which brings me closer to HIM-then God does something even grander which is mostly bring me closer to HIM.

OKAY......

It was that way with adoption too.... The door shut on adopting around 2 year ago for us we had been in the process for almost 2 years already.... some paper work was messed up - slowed us down, stuff with Ethiopia changed - put us on hold and possibly not be able to adopt from there,  then we found out we were preggos and our agency put us on hold.  It seemed like HE shut the door. I knew HE could change it... if HE wanted us to adopt a child HE could bring a child to our door. NOTHING is impossibly for HIM.

I threw my tempertantrum ...."why God?!! aren't we suppose to care for the orphans? You say it right there in Your word!!??"- like He needed to be reminded of what He said. So much yukky pride... and what a merciful GOD.

I wanted to adopt so bad. It was like HE was saying "GIVE ME this TOO, HEIDI" I didn't want to... i have wanted to adopt ever since i was a child....  but finally i did... i said "okay if we never adopt... "YOU are GOD and your plans are good. YOU care for the fatherless YOU don't need me.  I TRUST YOU. I SURRENDER by your grace." He helped me to let go.

We had put money financially in this so when the time came that our agency gave the okay to update things. We said we should be a good steward and continue the process... if a child didn't come from this...then we know HE has another plan.

I gave up. Sure i would love to adopt... it is the very heart of God...it is something i have always wanted... dreamed of.... but i was okay if HE said no to us and used others to. Not to say i wasn't utterly jealous of every dear friend that scooped up an orphaned child or cry bunches of tears for the fatherless we passed in India. I could adopt 50 or more if God would will it. BUT I had let HIM make that decision. I trusted HIM.

The utter shock came Friday.

i flooded tears over and over again.... i keep asking God "are you sure?"... so overwhelmed so humbled that He would chose me to mother this precious little one. He knows i don't deserve this... yet out of great love He gives this beautiful gift.

A girl. 5 months old. With skin so perfectly chocolate and big beautiful brown eyes. She took my breath away.

And Friday night when i kissed my children in my home touched there sweet cheeks....i thought of my little one far away yearning to touch and hold her and tell her "mommy is here"... but again... giving her back to HIM trust HIM to care for her until the day we meet...hopefully before the end of this year.

I feel so thankful to HIM her creator that choose us .... miles and miles away to be her mother.... so humbled. I feel in awe ....that every life is valuable to the creator. Even the billions of people i have never met... He knows them each by name. The number of every hair on their head. He knows and loves them. WOW.

I can't show her picture online so sorry all you get is a glimpse of her precious little hand. Please pray that everything goes as He wills it and that she feels HIS arms holding her.

10 messages that will spur you on in faith

i am not an eloquent speaker. i don't think before i speak usually... i am more of the word vomiter..... Here are 10 messages that if i could speak or teach them i would because everyone need to hear these. I hope they spur you on in your faith too. (note : these are some oldies but goodies)


The Pineapple Story - Otto


 The Plan - David Hasz




Christ's Call - K.P Yohannan

Transformations
 


Eetaow

Paul Washer - The Gospel



 Our Indescribable God - Louie Giglio

The Martyers Prayer


John Piper - Let the Nations be glad




Bob Srojren - Cat and Dog

a love story worth telling

Everyone's love story is different... i particularly think Jonathan and i have the best one... :) It was written by our Maker.

When i was young the Lord showed me that His plan was not dating... any kind of "boy friend" relationship i was in with a guy i knew it wasn't pleasing to Him... He wanted all of my heart and He wanted me to trust HIM to pick out my mate in His timing. By His grace He perserved my purity and even taught me a purity of heart.

His timing came when i was around 24 years old. I was at peace with being single for years and even thought i might be living somewhere around the world showing His love without ever having a spouse. i was content in my singleness. Married to my Maker. It was then that God began to speak to my heart about marriage.. and just a month after HE began speaking to my heart i met Jonathan.

I was at a turning point in my life and i had already signed for a house in Colorado Springs and committed to serve a great organization that was into what i thought God was leading me to, the people who have never heard about Jesus' love. I left Texas, where i had served Teen Mania Ministries for around six years and i was coming to VA for a month to raise awareness and support for the project i was about to begin in Colorado.

My first week home in VA i was attending my home church's mission conference. I was speaking and serving there that week with excitement about what God was doing through my home church. I remember seeing the mission pastor, Jonathan Grooms, stand up at the banquet and cry as he was praying for Afganistan. I thought "this guy rocks!" He invited me to hang out with him and a crowd a few times but i was hanging with my family that i hadn't seen in a while. The next week he invited me to a faith conference going on in Roanoke and i thought it would be a good idea to join him. I also helped him in the office with Mission Institute planning per his request and by the end my second week home i knew something was up..... he was opening the door for me and teasing about be staying instead of heading to Colorado. I asked a mutual friend and she said she knew that something was up because Jonathan didn't do things like that to single ladies.

So we met that friday in his office. I knew that i didn't want to lead him on and i thought that i was heading CO and needed support for the project so this was going to an awkward conversation if there really was something going on and even if there wasn't.  Don't get me wrong He was an awesome guy in my mind but i knew all kinds of awesome guys and i really wasn't on the look out.. i was just looking at Jesus.

The cool thing about Jonathan is that he was too and still is. :)

So i set there in his office and i asked him in my direct way... something like this ... "So do you really want me stay in VA to help with the Mission Committee or is there another reason?" His face turned red and he started to stutter and i could feel my heart drop to the floor. I can't remember exactly what he said but it was a long conversation. He spoke and asked questions.  I spoke and asked questions. And by the end of the conversation we knew that God had us for each other. That He had arranged us from the beginning of time. Jonathan had felt the Lord leading him to me and had prayed extensively about it before i came in.  He had been reading my newsletters over the years so he knew me much more than i knew him.

I remember holding his hand after that conversation and walking over to his brother and sister in law's house together. It felt right yet i didn't even know him... i just knew the peace that i had in my heart was from Jesus and i felt like He was laughing with joy over us.

Over the next 2 months we talked to mentors and friends. I traveled to Colorado and put out the fleece "I know he is Your choice for me but, God, if this isn't the time then let me know." When i was there God provided a renter for the home i had with the other ladies and peace with the organization that i was going to work with. He flew out and drove me home meeting mentors and friends along the way. His character was sound and all approved. All of these "interviews" were just more confirmation about what God was doing. 2 months after we had that first conversation we were engaged.

He proposed with airplanes all pointing outward around the alter at our church and a globe in the center. When i walked in the room there were rose petals all down the alise. All i remember doing was laughing with tears... i don't remember all he said when he asked me ... i just remember laughing... giddy... and him with tears to asking me if that was a Yes.

My GOD is so good...His gifts are wondrous!  Jonathan's name means "gift from God". And he is exactly that to me.

Four months later we were married, May 31st, 2003. The first time our lips met was on our wedding day. (P.S. if i had to do it over again i think i would kiss before the service.. it was a little embarrassing to kiss in front of hundreds of onlookers.)

Now this week it will be 10 years of marriage. I CAN honestly say there has never be a doubt in my mind that God created Jonathan and i to be together as one. Not to say we haven't had our good share of disagreements. But i can say i am more in love with him today than i was the day we got married and  he constantly points me to Jesus.

I always tell my Indian friends that we had an arranged marriage as well... arranged by God.

He is more than i could have ever imagine... God knew exactly what would be best for me what would spur me on toward Him the most. Jonathan is an amazing leader, friend, partner, companion, father, and lover. :)

I praise God for 10 years of marriage. I am not sure what the next 10 years will bring but i am so glad to have him as my husband and mate for life.

In his wedding ring... i had this inscribed: For His glory Matt. 24:14

which is... "And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come."

And our union is exactly that... for HIS glory... till the end of time.


HERE is a video i made after our 5 year anniversary for Jonathan...

and this years....

Urgency

There is this urgency in me that i seem to have since i was a child. I know life is short....but a breath... i always feel there is something more i can and should be doing. Those who are close to me know it is true. When there is a breath i think again to all of the scriptures and HIS thoughts that flood my head and heart compelling me..

screaming in my ear...... it is fleeting..... slipping away... so many millions do not know.... so many people are living without the Creators purpose...

i saw a blink of something on media recently claiming that the chief purpose in life was to be happy.

I see thousands of people that surround me everyday trying to achieve that purpose. I just want to scream... "TRUE HAPPINESS, JOY is only found in your CREATOR!" to the top of my lungs.

Then i reflect on my own self and see so many moments and hours pass by when i am just surviving but not in HIM... and not filled with JOY and i know the secret to life..... yet so many times i settle....for  surviving.

LORD help me to live.... truly live...

Dangers of the Last Days

"You should know this, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!

They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of[a] vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires.  (Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.) These teachers oppose the truth."

2 Timothy 3:1-8

Today in the midst of doing meaningless maintenance on my house. God spoke to my heart... what if He were to come back right now..... what if in the next few days the end of the world was coming... would my house maintenance really matter. No - His answer is No it wouldn't matter... and it is not what he wants me to be busy about.  I guess Lydia and the Prov 31 woman did alot of working on meaningless stuff and the Bible tributes them as "good women" and so stuff does need to be done but i know my thinking still needs to line up with HIS thinking.... with His perspective i can do as i am suppose to.

Even tonight as i am listening to the bible doing my dishes these words above were so close to home.

Are these truly the last days? I know that we don't know that but boy do those words seem like today. 

I love Him and His word, it is like guide putting me on the right path when i falter. Like medicine to my soul. 

what if everyone said yes....

said yes to what Jesus was putting on their heart.... no matter HOW CRAZY it seemed or HOW IMPOSSIBLE it was....

like Noah did

like Moses did

like Gideon did

...not caring what PEOPLE said about them.

What would happen.....  i get the honor of seeing this all of the time... and it makes me elated.

this week i am thinking of.... 

A mom of 4 kiddos under five years old saying yes i am going to design clothes to give away for donations to build a women's shelter for abused impoverished women in India.

A grandma saying yes i will clear out my basement and make a place to sew things that will impact impoverished children and gather other women to join me and make things too.

A mom of 4 saying yes God, i will coordinate women to make quilts for impoverished orphans.

A mom that enjoyes the safety of home saying yes i will go all the way to India and teach women to sew and start sewing businesses. 

A woman saying yes i will quit my job doing things i know to work and do the things i don't know so much to build YOUR kingdom among the nations. 

and so many more yes's to Jesus..... a family gives to build a water well.... a woman gives to make a sewing kit for a impoverished woman.... a friend in India runs around getting everything together... a child fills a water bottle full of change to helpgive a child in India clean water for a lifetime...  a woman that ralley's her facebook friends... people just saying yes. 

It is beautiful..... and watch out .... it's contagious. 

In a little over a week we go as a family to India with 2 other friends to share and show HIS love. To teach some beautiful women how to sew and start a business to help them. We will also teach them what HE thinks about them. How HE created them for a purpose and  HOW He sees them as HIS unique beautiful priceless invaluable creation with a heart song that only they can sing. Some of these women have been taught all of their lives that they are worthless and treated that way too. Some of these women need simply a business to meet the basic needs of life. 

Please pray for us... we are excited about what He is up too and humbled that He wants us to be apart of it....... us..... sinful.... inadequate ... selfish... fragile ....us.... that is the beauty we don't have know everything, or be skilled, or whatever... we just say YES and HE does HIS great plan.

We could say no.... HIS love for us would be the same... we would just miss out on expereincing HIM in the place of YES. :) 

elated. 

here is a few videos of the boys last time we were in India as a family: :) 

....that is how they make gravel in India... :) 

it is written...

"man does not live on bread alone but every word that comes from the mouth of God"

What brings LIFE and life to the fullest.
What brings JOY one that cannot be stolen.

God's words do. Today i was watching a movie about Jesus with the boys - a sick day for all at our home -  the movie was simple... a bit long... and borderline put you to sleep or mesmerize you... then when the above words were spoken it was life a knife to my heart.

Truth does that... God's words do that... they have the power to change a soul by just by hearing them.

In the movie the character said it differently than above...
"A person does not only live by eating. A person lives by [hearing] and doing everything the Lord says."

He = life

and not just any life... the life the creator designed us to live. If we know that HE = LIFE then we must know that anything that would replace the "HE" in that equation would = DEATH. 

1 John 5:21 was the theme verse for Perpetua's 1st birthday and is our prayer for her as well and us. As i think about myself i beg God to show me anything that i put in His place... i want that life to the fullest the one that is found in HIM. i want to run the race with my eyes on HIS undistracted. 

We always do a theme for the kids birthdays that points back to the Creator. This theme focused on HIM and the heart. We made all of the decor for less than $4. Heart strands ( just used a needle and thread instead of a hole puncher but here is a good tutorial)  and sewed heart shaped papers together and hung them everywhere (click here for a good tutorial). The boys helped with both. 

we made a heart cake :) 

 The boys used their own money to buy Petcha gifts. 

 We even played some funny party games having to do with the heart.

5 GAMES

1. KEEP AWAY FROM ANYTHING: A child gets a heart clipped to their shirt then all of the other children/adults go to a corner/another room and count to 15/30 while the child with the heart hids well. Then every one goes hunting to try to steal the heart. Whoever steals the heart gets to be the child with the heart. WE EVEN TRIED WITH LIGHTS OUT AND A FLASHLIGHT... lots of laughs and fun! 
2. GUESS WHO: Blindfold one child and secretly pick another child to come up and say "God love you" or “I love you” or “Your family loves you” in a silly voice. Can the child guess who's whispering to him?
3. WHAT IS THE RIGHT PATH FOR YOUR HEART: Map heart Game (print out) 
4. BLINDED BY LOVE: What you will need: Chalkboard or Whiteboard, 3-4 Blindfolds Directions: Have children go up to the chalkboard at once. Blindfold each child, and hand each a piece of chalk. Ask them to draw a heart. And then take a look – they will laugh at it and then try again (other things/Perpetua smiling) 
5. ARROWS IN YOUR HEART: Straws, heart bowls/dishes, and cutips -  shoot them in the hearts by blowing putting the cutip in one end and blowing on the other. See how many you can get in. 

love my little peeps

Perpetua is 1 year old

On this day one year ago we got to see face to face our little one that had been growing in my belly. She came out quick. You can read her birth story here.

Perpetua came as a wonderful surprise. Last night as i was nursing her i was sharing with Jonathan how amazing she is... how God made her like no other in the world and there has never been anyone like her either... nor will there ever be. How God made her for a purpose and imprint on this world that only she can fulfill... a song of worship to him that only she can sing.

I don't know what the pages of her life story will say... He knows though .....her Creator. I just know now this little one was entrusted to me to teach about HIM and the purpose HE has for her and to love her like He loves.

Happy 1st Birthday my beautiful little one!

one week old.

one year old.

for such a time as this

i know i am here for such a time as this and so are you...

i remember wondering when i was younger why God put me here in the USA instead of someone where else, or why God made me a woman when men seem to be able to travel so freely and go to any country and share His love. i know He had a plan and i am here for this time for a purpose that only i can full fill. 

... to sing HIS praises

... to exhort my husband toward HIM

... to teach my children about HIM

...to show and share the world HIS massive love 

we only have a breath and then our life is over... our names will soon be forgotten by this world and our bodies disappearing in the dirt .... the only thing that will count is what we did for eternity... how we lived in the truth that this world IS NOT OUR HOME

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.

Hebrews 13:14

.... our home is with the Maker of the Universe, the great and loving GOD. 

Everywhere we look we are seeing more and more people get this.... that we only have one life to live... and there is only one place we can find the direction on how to best live our short little life and that book, the BIBLE, and that following HIM is what it is about...

and that following HIM will look crazy --- HE might say build an ark for years, or go make demands to a king (Pharaoh), or go lead an army (Gideon), or maybe go preach the gospel and make disciples and show MY love and share MY love... oh wait a minute... HE did tell us to do that..... and HE also said don't worry about what you will eat, or what you will drink, or what you will wear, or where you will lay your head.... TRUST ME... YOUR CREATOR... FOLLOW ME. 

So since i know what HE says... i can't be complacent,  apathetic, distracted, content, or comfortable  there in that place of wasteful life... HE will not be found... only when i seek HIM and HIS ways with my whole mind, heart, strength, and go where HE is working will i find HIM. 

HE is feeding the hungry, healing the broken hearted, in the hard places, in the war torn countries  down the street, in an alley way with a homeless teen, teaching my Elijah, Jeriah, and Perpetua....

if i follow HIM.... I WILL get dirty, some people will hate me, i will be uncomfortable.... but OH what JOY it is to follow HIM to leave the worthless emptiness of silly things and follow HIM to pray over a women in India, to kiss the forehead of abused girl in Roanoke, to write a biblestudy for my kids, to stay up all night and talk with my maker and plead for the lives of so many.... THERE with HIM is where true JOY is found....

I love HIM and where HE goes I will follow.... 

wherever that may be... 

JOIN me...... lets run the race together...

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. Hebrews 12:1

provider

God is the provider... when it is His work... He PROVIDES!

I am talking to the boys about God's provision and God's economy this month. The first story we covered.... or first few really.... was about the Israelites complaining.... about being in the hot dessert without food or water.... complaining that He rescued them from Eypgt....wah wah wah... woe woe woe...  BUT God didn't punish those complaining kids... instead He provided... He gave them water and food.... why because HE is good and He wanted them to know Him.

Then the Lord said to Moses, “I have heard the Israelites’ complaints. Now tell them, ‘In the evening you will have meat to eat, and in the morning you will have all the bread you want. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’” 
Exodus 16:11-12

For months and really years Jonathan and I have felt like we were always trying to catch up to what God is doing through GPPD but never really making it.... about two months ago... i was complaining... "God, we can't keep up with what you are doing." blah blah blah woe woe woe as me.... and sure enough HE hit the rock and waters came gushing out!!!!!

Just 2 months later on my new list ...on the GPPD staff team ....16 people and it keeps growing....

I just feel like that desperately thirsty person standing there after Moses hit the rock and the water is just splashing in my face knocking me over!

:) dancing