My loving, forgiving, ALL POWERFUL God has been teaching me a lot since I started this blog a year ago. It began with Him graciously showing me again a beautiful of picture what life can be like when I surrender all to Him and not lean on my weak understanding and plans.
He showed me that pride was keeping me from truly seeing Him as He really is and that only through brokenness and in my relationship with Him can He truly transform me into what He created me to be and live the amazing life He has planned for me.
He showed me the influences that I had been allowing in my life that didn’t think like He did and the fact that if I wanted to truly know Him in needed to see how He sees things and the world. On February 17th through His strength I started fasting T.V. and now it is not even a temptation anymore. From May to November I read the whole bible through categorizing every verse and story. Letting His words teach me how He thinks and ultimately showing me how off my thinking has been.
He showed us that that if we want our children to see... that God is real and that God loves them and that we only have one life to live and to truly live it the way we were created to we need a passionate love relationship with Him… then we must show them this life… and we could never even try to do it on our own or anything of any eternal significance for that matter.. we need Him desperately.
He revealed to me my lack of belief by showing me such deep evaluations: If you really believed that I am who I said I am then your life would different. If you really trusted Me then I would be all you really want and need. If you really wanted Me then you would seek me whole heartedly, put Me first, and make Me the boss of your life.
And He began to remind me of another area of my life that I was not seeing like He does. The truth is I know I have been not listening to Him in the area for a long time.
This month as family we are going through all of His words on seizing the day… getting His perspective on what really matters in life and what this life is really all about. His word has been lighting a fire under me. For a long time He has been asking me for my stuff. I have a confession: I like pretty stuff… I don’t have lots and lots of it but I have way more than I need. Most of this stuff I felt I had to buy or spend money on… I would see a "do it yourself" show or pick up that pretty Pottery Barn magazine with all of its matching colors and then I would feel “ inspired” I would buy and build up my little kingdom to look so fine. I would pridefully enjoy it when others would admire.
I would make excuses about spending time and money on this stuff like: I need to use the creative talents God has given me. Or I got a great sale. Or if I don’t have stuff people will think I am weird. Or i just want it, doesn't God want me to have pretty things. He has been replying by showing me verses about His perspective on each of these excuses. And well.... let's just say ouch!
At the end of my life what will this stuff matter? When we all stand before God’s great white throne of judgment and He looks at the way we spent the money and time He gave us… will He say “oh Heidi, I loved what you did with your living room. Or that was one fine color scheme!” No He will not.
I am ashamed that I thought that it was so important to have a sleigh bed for Elijah’s room when I know personally people that don’t even have clean water to drink. I remember that exact magaizine that I saw the picture in it that started the want in me to get that bed... and now i am seeing it for what it really is... one of satan's largest tactics to distract the follower of God.
God convicted me and now this time because of what He has been doing I am ready to listen. When I was twelve I wanted to move to Africa and live in a mud hut to show and share God’s love there. God showed me that even though he hasn’t sent me to Africa or anywhere else yet … He has asked me to live with that same heart here… that nothing else matters except Him and the world knowing and loving Him.
So I am selling my stuff!!!!… I am hoping to come up with at least $2,250 to buy a clean water well for an Indian village before we all head there on February 24th. Sold the first thing today… the headboard to our bed! $200 YAY!… didn’t need that dumb thing anyway! :)
Yes we are heading to India as a family! Just 10 days… booo.. wish it were longer…but excited none the less. P.S... like Jeriah’s visa pictures?
Stuff doesn’t matter, people do. I am just beginning to live like I believe that… it is an amazing freedom. Watch the blog for updates on how He is helping me reach the goal!